Picking Your Battles

The first year my husband and I were married, we argued about everything.


The toilet seat.

Picking Your Battles

Whether the peanut butter and jelly go on the same slice of bread, or if the peanut butter goes on one slice, and the jelly on the other.
Whether the car heater should be on FLOOR or PANEL.
Whether the word is pronounced “affidaviT” or “affidaviD.”
Whether uncooked spaghetti should be broken in half before placing it into a pot of boiling water.
Whether the lawn should be mowed back-forth back-forth or in a reverse concentric path (i.e. round and round starting at the outer edge and working to the center).

Over eleven years, we have learned that the peace and harmony in our home increase exponentially with our willingness to just let some things go. To agree to disagree. To “not sweat the small stuff,” as it were.

As long as we both agree on the right way to spend the money, raise the children, and hang the toilet paper, I figure just about everything else counts as “small stuff.”

(And the right way to hang the toilet paper is OVER. In case you were wondering.)

How about you? What are some little things you’ve let go in the interest of keeping the peace?


  1. Whether or not an MBA, law degree, medical doctorate, or any other applied degree should be referred to as “vocational”. We don’t argue about much. We decided early on that the best way of dealing with things was “If something in the house needs to be done and is bugging you, then fix it.” We can ask the other person if we need help, but basically it comes down to who gets bugged by something first. He sweeps and puts away dishes. I wash dishes and scrub toilets. We take turns being irritated enough by the catboxes to clean them. It works for us, but it probably wouldn’t work for everyone – we’re both just a little bit obsessive about certain things.

    • Okay, I’m going to say no, those types of degrees should not be referred to as vocational. In the traditional sense of the word vocational.

      Am I right?

      Oh, and cat boxes can still be really contentious around here.

      • Exactly! Vocational means something other than just “applied”. That was a very long discussion. We’ve decided to just let it sit and agree to disagree. :)

  2. Who’s smarter. (But really…that’s a given, right?)

    • Hahaha, girl we all know what a smart cookie you are.

      That’s one thing Rob & I have never “argued” about. For some reason, he has always maintained that I am the smart one. Whether or not it’s true.

      I do know I have more common sense than him. But, yeah, again — that’s totally a given.

  3. We don’t complain about each others parents, at least not to each other or with any hope of resolution. They irritate, we vent- but we never take sides. We just agree that they love us-even though we sometimes can’t stand them!

    • Jenny says:

      That’s a great policy, we pretty much stick to that one too. I can complain about mine, he can complain about his, but we don’t complain about each other’s to each other!