I know it’s such a cliched thing to say but WOW are my kids growing up. Jake (15) will be getting his driver’s permit soon, Jenna (13) is flying through the bra sizes, Emma (6) can put her own hair in a ponytail, and Katelynn (4 next month) is starting ALL DAY PRE-KINDERGARTEN in the fall. Some days I look at them and think oh my god where did the time go?
And other days I think oh my god the time isn’t going fast enough.
Take yesterday for example.
My internal clock roused me from a good night’s sleep at 9:15 a.m. The downstairs was very quiet and I could hear water running in the upstairs bathroom.
Unbeknownst to me, Rob had left for the gym at 8:30 without so much as a warning that the only people awake and in charge of the three- and six-year-old were the three- and six-year-old. And the dog.
I would be the one to pay for his information omission since while I slept apparently the dog didn’t have enough sense to stop the girls from standing in the middle of the kitchen floor and cracking nine eggs (NINE. EGGS. NIIIIINE.) over one another’s heads, rubbing their bodies with the yolks and whites (of NINE EGGS) and then trying to conceal their crime by smearing the runoff (of — did I mention — NINE EGGS) into the whole of my hardwood kitchen floor then dripping their way through the house to the upstairs bathroom to wash off the evidence before I busted them.
On days like that, I find myself wondering if the local inpatient psychiatric hospital takes walk-ins. And I find myself thanking the sweet baby Jesus that at least they didn’t experiment with putting the dog in the dryer.
Gotta love the occasional crazy mess. Well at least when your have had a couple weeks post clean up and are able to laugh it off.
I love that they tried to take a bath. Clever kids.
One of our big ones was flour. Yep, flour pretty much turns to glue when you try to clean it up.
9:15?! I was jealous to read that, until I saw the rest of the story. Were they trying to make their hair shinier?
I am guilty of rising before my family when i was about 4-5 and cracking eggs on the floor below the fridge. I would also take a big hunk out of a butter stick and put it back! My mom said it was my cry for her to get up with me on a Saturday morning.
Trying so hard not to laugh and being TOTALLY unsuccessful. I’m sorry but that is really, really funny. Since it happened to you, anyway. If that had been my house, I would have failed to see the humor as well, though.
Maybe they’d let us be roommates in the loony bin? Because my boys and their Mythbusters reenactments are rapidly pushing me past the point of sanity.
I have some Xanax & I might be persuaded to share!
I Loved this story! I have one six-month old and sometimes I feel like I’ve got my hands full. I salute you.
OMG – this is hilarious! Eggs over their heads… what will they think up next?
Um. Eggs are good for for hair? They make it shiny? Less cholesterol that way?
Way better than a 6yo with a swing-arm paper cutter.
Your kids are funny! I wonder what possessed them to crack eggs over their heads. Were they watching old reruns of the three stooges?
But you have to laugh, and right away, or you really will end up in the loony bin! Like the other day cleaning up an entire bottle of pancake syrup the 3 yr old poured on herself, and the chair, and the floor…
Wait, maybe you should just get hooked up with some meds. Sigh.
That is sooo not funny at all. As I sit here cracking up at your plight. Earlier this week, my 3-yr old pried a closet open, climbed the shelves, and retrieved the spray-on sunscreen. Then she proceeded to apply a slime layer of sunscreen to the contents of the closet, the hall floor, the walls, and the closet doors.
Hmmm…sounds like a diy spa day! haha! At least the eggs weren’t rotten!
Oh god, I can imagine the smell.
My kids have tried similiar stuff, but fortunately (touch wood) nothing as dramatic. Once I found them in their closet, quietly trying on EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF SOCKS they had (that’s like 10 pairs each!!). Purpose, to make their feet as slippery as possible so they can pretend to skate on the kitchen floor. Of course, the socks were all ruined from all that pulling and streching.
But that doesn’t beat eggs. Not by a mile.
maybe they were trying to make you breakfast? did you ever think of that mean mommy???? kidding. i would have started drinking right then and there.
Take pictures. I always take pictures for evidence. And then at least I can comfort myself with the idea of potential future blackmail.
GAH!!!! EGGS?!?!?!!?
Nice.
I hate to disagree, but you probably WILL find it funny. At least I hope you do, because it’s a great story – NINE EGGS!!!!
LOL! Classic!! I love the comment about the dog. You just can’t rely on the pets to watch the kids anymore. What’s this world coming to??
At least you have ammo for when your own kids start telling you how your grandchildren have been acting up and you can whip this out…”That’s nothing, you amateur! Remember that time? NINE EGGS?!?!”
I can relate!
OH. EM. GEE.
See, this is why you have to teach your kids from the moment they can cradle a spoon to also cradle things like guns and knives and eggs — you know, take all the mysterious allure out of it all. Keep all food below three feet, etc. Dry macaroni out of the box is totally not that bad. A little crunchy. Whatever, at least I sleep.
Nice to meet you. Thanks for the visit. You’re awesome.
Not even a little funny? Kidding! I’d have had some people’s heads on a platter!
sorry this happened to you. But, boy is that funny.
Love it! Of course, I love that it happened to YOU and not ME. Hey… don’t they say eggs are good for skin… or hair… or something? Maybe they’ll make your floors shiny!
So does your kitchen floor look nice and shiny now that it’s had a spa egg treatment? I was smiling the whole time I read this – thanks! A sheet of press-n-seal got stuck on our kitchen floor a few days ago, and I still can’t get all the residue off. It keeps getting dog hair stuck all over it. And we managed to do that with just two adults and a 2 month old baby. Can’t wait to see what our house looks like when the baby’s walking around on his own… must remember to hide the eggs
Comedy = tragedy + time. Eventually, you’ll laugh… probably at some point after all the egg stains are long gone.
What is it about eggs anyway? My 3.5-year-old fished a full carton of 18 brand new eggs out of the fridge and wanted an egg NOW last night. He was marching around the kitchen with them. I flipped.
Entertainingly good birth control, Thumbs up.
Your kids sound adorable. It’s things like this that make them amazing, their innocence and naivete and just pure wonder with the world.