5. Netflix’s supersonic-speed shipping and receiving.
Tuesday afternoon, at 4:55pm, I deposit the Grey’s Anatomy Season 2, Disc 3 DVD into a big blue box at my local post office here in Tulsa. The DVD is Kansas City bound. Wednesday morning, at 9:27am I get an e-mail from Netflix saying they have received said DVD and noted its return to my account. So again, the breakdown: DVD = My hand –> big blue box at Tulsa post office –> some post office in Kansas City –> Netflix receiving warehouse –> my account. Approximately 17 total hours. SUPERDUPERSONIC.
4. Sleep
The amazingness of the biophysical process whereby laying on my bed and closing my eyes allows for my brain and body to move into an altered state of consciousness wherein I am oblivious to the goings-on in my vicinity (for instance, my husband’s nocturnal flatulence) blows me away.
Taken one step further, the fact that modern medicine allows for that state of consciousness to be so altered that surgeons can cut me open and remove random body parts while I snooze away, dreaming of tropical island vacations and Ryan Gosling shirtless, boggles my mind. And makes me sleepy just thinking about it.
3. Television
Yeah, I know, I know I SAW WILLY WONKA TOO. “You photograph something and then the photograph is split up into millions of tiny pieces and they go whizzing through the air, down to your TV set where they’re all put together again in the right order.” Just because Mike Teevee gets it DOESN’T MEAN I DO.
2. Fax machines
See above, 3. Television. Except, specifically, you photocopy something and then the photocopy is split up into millions of tiny pieces and they go whizzing over a telephone line, down to your fax machine where they’re all put together again in the right order. I still doubt that it could actually work. I mean, I realize it does actually work, but I believe it works by some form of white magic. Or else gnomes are involved.
1. Time travel
We’ve addressed this issue before, remember? Let’s not go there again, okay? Thanks.
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