This insomnia brought to you by Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga. Also the letter O.

… wow, for doing close to nothing all day, I am REALLY tired …

… I didn’t even take a Melatonin, but I’m already drowsy enough to fall asleep …

… as soon as Rob GETS SITUATED OVER THERE, I should doze right off …

… I wonder if he checked the front door …

Me: “Did you check the front door?” Him: “No.” Me: “GREAT.”

… I should go check the front door …

… I’m sure it’s locked, the only times we left today we went out through the garage …

… if I don’t go check it then I’ll lay here good and awake thinking about it, but if I go check it I’ll be good and awake from THE GOING AND CHECKING IT …

[exasperated sigh directed at Rob, covers thrown back, much stomping to the front door which A-HA! WAS UNLOCKED!, much stomping back to bed, exasperated sign directed at Rob, grab covers back over body, Rob now snoring]

… well now I’m good and awake — crap …

… I wish I had cleaned out my Inbox before I got in bed …

… I should go take a Melatonin …

… crapcrapcrapcrap …

… no, I’m going to lay here quietly and listen to my breathing until I fall Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can’t you see-ee-ee OHMYGOD NOT THAT TAYLOR SWIFT SONG IN MY HEAD AGAIN!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! You belong with me-ee-ee I WILL NOT THINK OF THAT SONG I WILL NOT THINK OF THAT SONG I WILL NOT THINK OF THAT SONG …

… okay, calm, breathe, inhale, exhale, listen to breathing, there that’s working — a little …

… I’ll bet it’s cool to be Lady Gaga and have the money to buy anything you like to wear to those red carpet thingys or better yet be given things to wear by designers who are dying for you to wear their stuff …

… FOCUS ON BREATHING FOOOOOOCUS ONNNN BREEEEATHINGGGGG …

… even though I’m pretty sure Gaga found that number she wore on the Grammys tonight at Ringling & Brothers, but still …

… FOCUS! …

… also, why do all the uber-rich celebrities organize telethons when there is a disaster instead of just each one of them donating a few million of their own, I mean they all get paid ten or twelve million for a few weeks work, right? I’m not against charity and dogooding, but still, SEEMS OBVIOUS TO ME …

… Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time, how could you not know bay-bee-ee-ee you belong with me-ee-ee, OHMYGOD HOW DO I KNOW ALL THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You belong with me …

… THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT! NOW! FOR A MELATONIN! …

… right after I clean out my Inbox …

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UPDATED TO ADD: Since writing this post this morning, I now ONCE AGAIN have the Taylor-Swift-song-that-shall-not-be-named stuck in my head. I knew I was taking a risk by referencing it in my post, but I made the sacrifice for you, dear reader. Because everything I do, I do it for you.