Jenna is sitting on the floor, scratching our New Gray Tabby Cat* on the belly.
Suddenly, she stops and says to the kitty**, “Ewww. Is that a flea I feel on you? Or is that your nipple?” And then, to me, “Mom, do cats have nipples?”
“YES OF COURSE. All mammals have nipples.”
“Oh. Then how come parrots don’t?”
“Because the public school system has failed you.***”
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* Not to be confused with our Old Gray Tabby Cat Who Was Lost for Seven Weeks and Then Came Home Perhaps When He Saw We Had Replaced Him with a Newer (Not to Mention FEMALE) Model. (And who, at only three years, we don’t technically classify as old in age, but as old in the sense that we had him first.)
** For the record, the six of us have finally decided on a name for the new one. Unfortunately, we each have decided on a different name. So Bella (Rob) Trixie (Emma) Kiki (Jenna) Coconut (Katelynn) Flapjacks (Jake) Toonces (Me) it is. Good thing cats don’t need birth certificates.
*** Also for the record, Jenna is my one and only Straight A progeny. So now I’m wondering what creatures Jake believes do or do not have nipples. Will ask him in the morning.
14 Responses to One Child Left Behind
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A freelance writer and editor, wife and mother of four who excels at Wii bowling, makes a mean cherry pie, and has probably seen the movie Grease more times than you. Read a lot more about Jenny Motley here.pinterest is the new black.
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That’s hilarious! You better take a survey of what animals do and do not have nipples.
Please let us know the results of this survey.
You missed a perfect opportunity to quote that scene in “Meet the Parents” where Greg’s talking about milking a cat, who has tiny nipples, and his girlfriend’s dad says, “I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?”
The thought of parrots with nipples? Priceless!
Good things most cats don’t come when they are called, so the name doesn’t matter TOO much! LOL.
I wholeheartedly endorse the name Toonces for your new kitty.
That is HILARIOUS! I’ve come to really love your blog and read it regularly. I only have two children myself, so I cannot even begin to imagine what your days must be like, but this blog gives some (and very funny!) insight. I literally laugh at loud several times reading each post!
hahahaha. THis cracks me up.
Oh My God. I nearly choked on my own saliva reading this post. Hilarious!!!
Yeah, and why don’t parrots have any nipples?
Haha that’s brilliant. I too am awaiting the survey results.
Name the cat “Tits”. I’m so helpful.
Our cat’s (well, stray) name is Kitty. Yours is much better.
‘Because the public school system has failed you’ ROFL!
I’m so glad mine are done with the education system! Even so, I found I had to fill many, many gaps.
I just found your blog. Looks good! I’ve put you in my feed.
Perfection. A parrot with nipples…
And might I add: I also have a Jenna.
Ha ha..thats funny. I like all the cat’s names.