She asked: “Mommy, after school today can we go buy me a new Transformer? Cause I don’t know where my other one is.”
I answered: “I’ll think about it.”
I thought to myself: Your other Transformer is in a landfill somewhere on a count of the fact that it was a poorly constructed piece of junk since none of the transforming parts would stay attached to the main transformer part and the whole thing was probably covered with four coats of lead-based paint anyway. So no. We will NOT be buying you a new Transformer after school today. Or any other day. But thanks for asking.
She asked: “And after nap today, can we go buy me a light saver?”
I answered: “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I thought to myself: Okay, number one what’s the sudden fascination with buying boy toys? Number two, nap? today? you? I’ll believe THAT when I see it. Number three, buy you yet another plastic object with which you can terrorize and abuse your siblings not to mention the two small animals in the house? Not likely.
She continued: “Yesterday Reese was saying ‘It’s called a light sa-BER.’ And I said ‘Nuh-uh. It’s a light sa-VER.’ And she said ‘Light sa-BER.’ And I said ‘Light sa-VER.’ And she was making me so mad.”
I said: “Hmm.”
I thought to myself: Reese was right. And it’s a good thing you’re cute.
She skips tangents: “And the other day Olivia kept saying ‘Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants . . .’ And she was acting all crazy.”
I said: “Really.”
I thought to myself: Wanna know what’s really crazy? How EVERY.DAMN.CONVERSATION. with a toddler eventually gets around to being about Spongebob Squarepants. That’s freaking INSANE.
11 Responses to Conversations in our car this morning. Real and imagined.
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The only thing you can do is keep it from rubbing of on you – “this wine has an excellent bouquet and a subtle finish but there’s something about that I just can’t put my finger on – something ‘spongebobish’”
Twitter: CrashTestMommy
says:
That truly made me laugh out loud Jason! And only sort of in a Spongebobish way. heh.
Oh my..sounds like every other conversation I have with my kids too. In my case it’s either Mr Bean (?!!) or Shawn the Sheep.
Baaaaa!!
Twitter: CrashTestMommy
says:
So nice to know others feel my pain. OUCH.
And there should be the new game. Instead of six degrees of Kevin Bacon, it will now be switched to SpongeBob Squarepants.
I mean… you have Alec Baldwin, Jeffrey Tambor, and David Hasselhoff. It is a win/win situation all around.
Twitter: CrashTestMommy
says:
Six Degrees of Spongebob Squarepants?? Dude I am so in!
Don’t forget Scarlett Johansson.
Well I totally forgot about her! Yes! It is a definite new game.
Hey, I’m 34 years old and I watch Spongebob every day, and I openly admit it. =D
Twitter: CrashTestMommy
says:
Um Heather I’m not sure if it’s worse that you WATCH Spongebob or that you proudly ADMIT watching it. It’s a toss-up.
Just saying.
You can just type: “I thought,” and leave it there. “I thought to myself” is redundant, like saying, “I said out loud, using my vocal cords.”
Twitter: CrashTestMommy
says:
mandy — My husband agrees with you so you must be totally wrong. Besides, sometimes I think OUT LOUD. And sometimes I think to my other personalities.
Thanks for the unsolicited writing tutorial though. You rawk!