Footnotes:

1. Because I predict much Wii Hula-Hooping in my near future.

2. Because Dr. Google thinks I have either eczema, psoriasis, or seborrheic dermatitis, but oddly he is unable to write me a prescription, necessitating a visit to an actual living breathing medical professional and what an inconvenience.

3. Because according to All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, “One must give swag in order to receive swag.” Okay, I totally made that up.

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I know some writers observe the sacred Wordless Wednesday tradition on their respective blogs. But me? Not so much with the wordless.

Because there’s a story behind every picture. I make it my bidness to tell those stories. (Feel free to quote me on that.)

First up: the book I’ve already talked about this week.

In this case you CAN judge a book by its cover. Because: Humorous? I laughed. Heartfelt? I cried. Chuck Taylors sitting in front of an empty leather chair? Okay I’ll admit dooce may have lost me on that one. But still a fabulous read. I smell a Pulitzer nomination. Or maybe it’s those Chucks that I smell. But something DEFINITELY smells in here.

Next up: a four-pack of Mini Journals.

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THE GOOD

1. Two very sweet and generous friends of our family offered us a not-quite three-year-old EVER-SO-GENTLY-USED king-sized gen-u-wine Tempur-Pedic mattress set for absolutely no cost or obligation. AND threw in two sets of eleventy-hundred threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets. Also, for the record, these are the exact same very sweet and generous friends of our family who about a year ago gave us a practically new sixty-two inch (SIXTY!TWO!INCH!) flat-screen high-definition television.

And yes, we are aware that we did pretty much NOTHING to deserve it.

And we’re pretty much okay with that.

2. My cousin-who-is-like-the-sister-I-never-had is newly! pregnant! with her second! baby! Even though I, as a good cousin and mother-of-four, totally warned her against having more than one but she apparently has a mind of her own. Oh and did I mention that she is in town on a long vacation whilst her husband, a movie director/producer, shoots a film here? And that they have been staying with her mom and dad, my aunt and uncle? And that this fetus is a miracle from God in many ways but mainly because it was immaculately conceived since I KNOW my aunt and uncle do not allow their daughters to have actual sex under their roof.

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I was in Barnes & Noble the other day picking up a book I had ordered a week earlier. Before I went through the checkout and paid full Barnes & Noble price for the book when I could have ordered it discounted at Amazon.com but I like paying full price, I decided to go peruse the Artsy / Craftsy department to see if there might be other books I required for continued life sustenance.

At this point I feel I must acknowledge and applaud Barnes & Noble’s highly effective use of subliminal sensory marketing in the form of Starbucks coffee and upbeat classical music. I mean seriously. Have you actually ever made it out of that place without buying something? Methinks not.

As I meandered to my favorite corner of the store, a young boy of no more than six years narrowed the parabola of his running path through the store, brushing my arm and very nearly knocking me on my ass. “WHHHOA!” I said.

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