Ghosts of Blogs Past

I was twittering* the other day and one of my homies mentioned the Wayback Machine website which was completely new to me. Basically it’s a site that indexes the archives of all the internets.

Kind of like a DeLorean Google.

So to test the Wayback Machine’s flux capacitor, I typed in my blog’s old domain, jennyology.net, and up popped the jennyology archives. I clicked on a couple of links and was pleasantly surprised to discover several entries that for any number of unknown reasons didn’t make it over to crashtestmommy.net when I moved my database.

Entries that I TOTALLY FORGOT OR BLOCKED OUT having written.

Because I wrote them a year and a half ago and I have slept since then and also am probably coming down with early-onset Alzheimer’s from all the deodorant I use and most likely also because I never take my Ginkgo Biloba since I can never remember to take it.

Anyway.

I have decided to pain-stakingly copy and paste each one of these entries into thishereblog for posterity and your reading enjoyment and I will create a new category called LOST AND FOUND and I will henceforth tag each entry as such when I bring them over. LOOK! there’s one now!

As you read those old entries and pee yourself from the hilarity that is my life — AND YOU WILL — be sure and say a prayer to thank the Sweet Baby Jesus that God and these people invented the Wayback Machine. Because that is what I’ll be doing at bedtime tonight.

After all, it’s evidence for my insanity plea.

And I WILL need it someday.

* If you don’t know what twitter is yet ch-check it out. It’s “a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?” Kinda like Facebook meets IM. Or something.

Live and Let Die

While on our recent roadtrip, I engaged my mother in some titillating conversation regarding the Barbara Walters special, “Live to Be 150 … Can You Do It?”

Here’s how that went:

Me: “Did you hear about that Barbara Walters special on living to be one hundred and fifty years old?”

Mom: “Yeah! Can you imagine? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

Me: “Ummm, not really. I don’t want to know what I would look like at 150. Not to mention feel like. Why would you want to live to be that old?”

Keep reading . . .

How do I love thee TiVo? Let me count the ways.

My Dearest TiVo,

Hey baby.

Just a quick note to say that I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately and wanted you to know just how much happiness you have brought to my life.

A few years ago, before we met, I was in one of those one-sided, emotionally vacant relationships with the Digital Cable Box and I thought that because I was getting reminders when my favorite shows were getting ready to start, that my life was complete.

You turned that all upside down.

You showed me that there is so much more to TV viewing and that I shouldn’t be afraid to raise my expectations. Because I deserve more. Because I am worth it. Until you, I never believed.

Keep reading . . .

Miss Understood

Katelynn on . . .

. . . animal sounds: “The rooster goes cock-a-little-do.”

. . . long traffic lights: “COME ON GREEN LIGHT! YOU WANT A PIECE OF MEAT?”

. . . her big sister’s FOUL MOUTH: “MOM-EEEEEEE. Emma said a bad word. She said ‘Why don’t you mind your own BEESWAX?’”

. . . religion: “Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells you what to do.”

I suppose we could correct her, but really prefer just to laugh at her.